I'm closing this account
Because the person I used to share it with
Doesn't exist anymore.

I tried to help her
I tried to change things
But she didn't listen
And she didn't see
And now I'm tired.

I'm very tired of trying.
I'm tired of her wasting her life
I'm tired of her extremely irritating ignorance
I'm tired of the college corner
I'm tired of not knowing who she is
I'm tired of secrets and lies.
I'm tired of 20 minute phone calls once a month
I'm tired of worrying about her.
I'm tired of wishing she was still my best friend.

She used to love anime.
She used to love music.
She used to love books.
She used to love me.

Now she only loves two things.
Her pathetic, manipulative, abusive mother and her
STUPID
FUCKING
NO-GOOD
FAKE
GOD.

Her god can't possibly exist
Because if she could see
For just a minute
What's happening to her life
She would realize that no god would EVER
Want this for his follower.

I don't want to believe there's a god
That would make someone as good as her
Live the way she's living.
I can't believe that.
I won't.

So I'm closing this account.
Not that anyone noticed it anyway.
Kind of like how she never noticed
That we no longer have anything in common.

I think she forgot about our inside jokes. She forgot the penthouse, the waffles and cookies, the fanfiction, the AIM chats at 2 AM (my time), the reviews, the editing, the writing, the music, the mail...

I wish I could forget.
I tried way too hard to hold on to her.
I should have listened to my mother when she said
"You can't save everyone. You can't help everyone."

So I guess I've done all I can.
It'll take a long time for her to find this
If she ever does
And when she reads my words
We'll either repair our relationship
Or we will end it.

I'm not sorry for what I've said.
I'm not sorry for what I've done.
I'm sorry for what I didn't do.

Because she's still trapped, she's still blind, she's still deaf and mute and that doesn't bother her at all.

And I'm still here
With the password for our shared account
And the key for our Philly penthouse
And the box full of her pretty stationary.

So I'm keeping the penthouse and storing the stationary.

I'm closing the account
Because the person I used to share it with
Doesn't exist anymore.